A new short story which can be found at:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AZMsaF3qj2kKZG01a25rNV8xZnJzOXI4Z2Q&hl=en
It's called 'Crossroads.' If you liked the last one I wrote then.. well, actually this one is nothing like the previous one. So, if you hated 'The Stooge,' maybe you should give it a try. If you like my stuff- or pretend to like my stuff because you're a good friend and that's what good friends do (and your constant support is much appreciated, don't ever change), then give it a go too.
I tried to make it a bit... actually, creepy is too strong a word, I didn't really get what I was going for. Still, it's a little different from stuff I've done before.
Same deal as before, double space it to make it easier to read. You could even print the damn thing if you feel like it, as it's only a few thousand words, which works out at about six pages.
Any comments can be addressed to verbalslapstick@googlemail.com. I promise this email address works correctly this time, I fluffed the original one by spelling it incorrectly.
Thank you to anyone that reads it, and thank you to everyone that stops by here. You're all smashing people.
1 comment:
I like it! You've got a really strong way with voice - although what's interesting about this story is the paucity of detail about the narrator, which is nice. It makes it easy to step into his shoes.
A couple of things, one grammatical, one not:
The that in the sentence beginning 'The blackout that August gave a lot of visitors...' is a bit confusing, because the most natural way to read it is as introducing a sub-clause rather than deictic, so it's a bit clunky to read. You can clear this up in a second.
Secondly, I have no idea if this refers to a real person. Am I just uncultured in my ignorance? If this refers to a real suicide of an author with a real strange associate, then fair enough, and I'm just too culturally imbalanced to understand. Or if there is a symbolism in them that I'm missing, then equally that is my own dumb fault. Otherwise, it feels... slightly sparse on meaning. By this I mean the need for, say, his black associate, when the author is already soaked in mystery plenty and I'm already pleasantly confused.
None of this should detract from what is a splendid story. You got a lot across in just six pages, and I'm really very envious of your control over characterisation. Good stuff, man!
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